Complete Intelligence
Complete Intelligence Blog



Embracing Our Inner Idiot

It’s stunning to watch people burst a vein over things they understand very little about, but feel very strongly about. People become emotionally charged-up over sacredly held beliefs; beliefs which often are borne out of no more than the propaganda we were first exposed to early on. Politics seem to bring out the inner idiot in people and causes otherwise rational people to lose all real sense of decorum. I love to read articles about Obama and Palin and McCain and Pelosi and then read the comments people take the time to write after the articles. The criticisms are mean-spirited, not very well thought out and really miss the mark in my opinion.

Yes, you could argue that Palin is not very smart, but she’s turned that into a money making machine. That’s smart; which makes you wonder how smart we are as a nation; making allegedly dumb people rich. Yes, you could argue that Pelosi deserves to be exiled as the Speaker of Another Planet because of her clubbish arm-twisting and very left pushing politics. She’s the poster child for all things spendy. But, she’s become one of the most powerful women in the world; which makes you wonder how smart we are as a nation; making seemingly close-minded people so powerful.

So, we could go back and forth about each and every politician and there would be opinions from the lovers and the haters and the informed and the misguided. Here’s my somewhat neutral opinion: The thing about all of our politicians is that each and every one has flaws in their emotional intelligence, because they are human. Each and every one has power needs because they are politicians (why would you subject yourself to the public’s lunacy otherwise?). Each and every one, at their very core, probably isn’t as hateful, stupid, uncaring, mean – and any other negative description you come up with – as you might paint them to be. They probably want to make life better – even the politicians we don’t like probably want that at some level.

At the core, most of us turn into idiots when our sacred beliefs (Democrat vs. Republican, pro-choice vs. pro-life, gun ban vs. gun rights, gay marriage vs. straight marriage, etc.) are tested and people try to convince us that we are stupid for holding them. And then we DO turn stupid in our response – at least according to the ridiculous comments posted after articles. When your idiot comes out to play, use emotional intelligence and instead of vomiting hate, try to come from a place of curiosity. Ask questions – don’t make accusations. Strive to understand instead of respond. Know that the pendulum always swings. And, if you believe that your way of life and thinking is the only “smart” way, one day that pendulum will swing again and the “stupid” people will be in control and it will feel like you are excluded by them. Your inner idiot will probably come alive again. Tame it with kindness. Stop the madness. We are all passengers on the same flight.

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Executive Presence

I’m speaking to a summer MBA class today about executive presence. It’s not something taught in schools, yet it’s probably one of the things executives in big jobs ask about the most. It should probably be a part of the curriculum for business grad students; just like emotional intelligence training should be required in medical and law school.

So, executive presence. It comes in a lot of forms. It is definitely fueled by emotional intelligence, and I think another ingredient that is critical in the equation is trust. When neuroscientists break trust down in the brain, they find that it shows up in many different areas. The easiest way to think about trust is that the brain makes quick and parallel judgments about you based on integrity (do I believe you? Do you seem honest?); dependability (do you do what you say you’re going to do?); and competence (can you do the job? Do you have the smarts and ability). You can probably surmise…trust is NOT something you get overnight. The brain has to see you in repeat performances of the three things mentioned above.

When there is trust in a relationship, it brings about a presence you can’t replicate by holding your body properly or using eye contact…or many of the other physical attributes so often relied upon as devices for executive presence (they are a part of the equation…just not the only part, as is often believed). If you don’t understand what trust beings you…think about a relationship in which there is low or no trust. How do you behave? How do you think others view you in that relationship? How does it feel? It’s pretty bleak when there is no trust and we behave accordingly. You’ll take a major ding in executive presence without trust.
For an executive, they must have trust with a group…not just one person. That requires the above ingredients seen over and over and over again, quite publically.
I suggest to executives before they give a speech to run through their talk to make sure that somewhere in it they are addressing integrity (being boldly and sometimes baldly honest), dependability (demonstrating that you said something and you followed through) and competent (showing that you know how to be an executive…which is easier said than done. Don’t come off as a bragging ass on this one.)

That’s executive presence in a very high level nutshell.

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Optimism as a goal

Optimism is a powerful thing; actually an excellent survival strategy. There’s good reason it’s considered one of the most powerful emotional intelligence attributes. However, many people actually think it’s bad. Of course, those are the pessimists. The easiest way to think about optimism is that when you’re in a pickle and things aren’t working out, the optimist looks for options out of the pickle. Maybe they should be relabeled “optionists”. Pessimists on the other hand are more prone to getting stuck and ruing that there is no way out of the pickle.

Optimism, by the way, is not about people being all cheerful and rosy all of the time. Optimists are in slightly better spirits than your pessimistic counterparts, only because they know there is one VERY big thing in the future: hope. If you don’t have hope…the belief that things can be different or better, then you often live your prophecy. Things don’t get better. Studies show that those who score high in hope heal faster, are less depressed and have less regrets in their lives. High optimism and hope scores are actually a better predictor of who and who will not get a second heart attack than the chief medical indicators (cholesterol, family history, etc.). Crazy…but it’s true.

So, learn to become optimistic. According to Martin E.P. Seligman, PhD, it has to do with your style of explaining good and bad events in your life, mainly the bad ones. Go to my article at Entrepreneur Magazine online to learn more in depth about the differences between optimists and pessimists and how to change if you want. Find the article at:

“http://www.entrepreneur.com/management/managementcolumnistscotthalford/article207648.html“>

Tell me your thoughts on it. Good luck!

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Just what is emotional intelligence?

Anywhere I go to speak I’m asked, “How can I understand what emotional intelligence (EI) is without having to get a PhD in it?” The short answer is, you know it when you see it and you definitely know it when it’s missing.When it’s there, you probably feel attracted to a person (not necessarily physically); you feel enlarged or at least respected. When it is lacking, you feel like something is amiss or it may be so obvious that everybody in the room just feels bad. If you feel threatened, intimidated, angry, anxious, deeply sad and so on after an interaction with someone…there’s a good chance one or both of you is handling the situation without the best of emotional intelligence.

Since that’s probably not enough to quench the curiosity thirst for most people, in a nutshell, it’s the ability to understand your own and others emotions before, during and after an emotionally charged event and act accordingly to bring about the best possible outcome. It’s managing emotions before they get the best of you, because left to their own devices, emotions are messy and do not pay attention to reason. That’s why they have to be given intelligence. As seminal EI researcher Reuven BarOn, PhD says, EI is basically the measurement of common sense, wisdom, street smarts.

EI helps us to understand why IQ is not as good a predictor of workplace and life success as we originally thought starting about 70 years ago. IQ is a great predictor of test scores and entrance exams, but it doesn’t tell you how a person will succeed in the long term. As a matter of fact, people with high IQs often exhibit more derailment (demotions, loss of job, loss of relationships, depression, etc.) than those with more moderate IQ. IQ gets you in the door, but EI moves you up the ladder. There are those who moved up the ladder without a ton of EI because they clawed and punched their way up. They often derail in a blaze of dishonor, but alas, sometimes you get a jerk or two running the show. It takes good EI to deal with that.

EI Models and Measurements

There are many emotional intelligence models out there and suffice it to say that they mostly measure the same thing with some exceptions. There is a great deal of argument over just what constitutes an emotional intelligence attribute. But, I say pick a model and go into it wholeheartedly. There are several measurements of EI. The thing yo want to do is ask about the validity of the instrument. Ask for the “psychometrics” of the instrument and if it’s not your bag of tricks to understand them, ask someone who understands statistics of behavioral instruments to interpret. Basically you want to know if it measures what it says it is; if there is a high degree of correlation of success in those who exhibit the attribute and failure in those who do not; and if people who are high in a certain attribute answer certain questions in the same way over and over again.

At my company use the EQ-i® and EQ-i®-360 for a variety of reasons and have great success. Other instruments to consider are the ECI, MSCEIT, HeartMath, SSI and so on. Whatever you do, do the homework to determine the best instrument for you.

So…we could go on for days about what is EI and what it isn’t. All day long you will witness EI and the lack of it. Learn from those experiences. That in itself is a great way to learn about those street smarts.

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